Monday, May 23, 2005

From cave man to comp guy

Somewhere along the way we went from being fire-making, hunter-gathering, animal taming men to the nacho-eating, grande latte drinking, videogame playing blokes. And the closest we come to being 'animal' (outside of rare moments in the sexual arena) is when we're killing alien-zombie hybrids on a ring shaped planet on Halo. Or is it... ? When mulling on this very question, I came upon another string of analogies...

(and I apologise if this seems to be the style of all my blogs.. how is A like B?)

Is the pride from connecting all the cables in our complicated music-tv-dvd systems and programming the VCR what remains of the joy of building that cave fire? And is that manly feeling from roasting meat on the barbeque whats left over of the primitive hunter? And is the urge to drive giant trucks what passes for taming wild horses? *

* This applies to many truck like vehicles.. but not for red corvettes.. which is just a man's way of saying "I have a really small penis and need to compensate".

Saturday, May 14, 2005

kids and crack

In keeping with the general theme of my blogs, I'll probably live to regret saying this.. but here goes... A little while ago, and perhaps under the influence of substances of a dubious nature, i made an interesting realization.

Having a kid is like developing a crack habit.

"What is this blasphemous bollocks he spouts?" I hear you say.. but hear me out. So what do crackheads and parents have in common?

1. Most of their days are spent thinking about their habit
2. Most their money is spent on sustaining their habit
3. They drift off from their old friends and start to hang out with other people who have the same habit
4. They stop leading the full lives they had before in order to make more time for their habit
5. After sustaining the habit for a long time, they are left shells of the people they used to be..

A somewhat cynical approach some would say. But there you go.