Sunday, February 18, 2007

Days of being wild - Part II

Part I

We found ourselves in a large room with rows of tables and chairs. There was a stage at the far end. On the whole it looked like a cross between a restaurant and a hospital dorm. A few people were eating in a corner. There a bunch of beautiful Asian women in identical pink dresses walking around. One of them came towards us and led us to a table. We followed without asking any questions. We were just happy to be away from the Shoes. A menu was placed in front of us. Wenerd instinctively asked for beer and karaoke. Our waitress stared, smiled at us and walked away. This is when I noticed her. She swayed her hips gently when she walked. She was breath taking. “Boss, she is HOT. I think we should just fuck it and eat here. I want to be waited up on by her.”, I told Wenerd. He murmured his agreement. I opened the menu to find it completely in Korean. The only thing in English was the name of the restaurant, Pyongyang Friendship Restaurant. So we were in North Korea!!!

Wenerd hoped that my babe would help us order food. I soon spied her floating towards us with Angkor beer. She placed the glasses in front of us and poured the beer in the strangest fashion. Her arm was ramrod straight and the beer bottle was parallel to the table. The beer gushed into the glass and she stopped pouring when the glass was full. There was right amount of head and not a drop of it overflowed. I then realized that we were in a magical place.

My babe was waiting for us to order. I was thinking about how to propose matrimony to her. Wenerd still wanted karaoke. So there was stillness. After few sips of beer we asked for help with ordering. She had no idea what we were saying. She spoke not our language. At that instant I was completely sure that I was going to marry this goddess.

Thankfully the menu had pictures so we randomly pointed at two tasty looking dishes and ordered them. We then struggled to order rice. To this day we have no idea what we ate. After placing our order I watched those wonderful hips swaying away. I then told Wenerd that I am going to marry this girl. He said, “Put macha put.” But I don’t think he realized how serious I was.

The food soon showed up but my babe did not. She was replaced by another. In their pink outfits they all looked the same. But I could tell the difference. I was outraged. I tried telling her that I won’t eat if I am not served by my babe. She too spoke not our language. Wenerd calmed me down and said we will look for her after eating. I was hungry too so we ate like pigs. The unnamed dishes were very very good.

In the middle of our meal we heard a commotion and soon found the pink waitresses were on the stage. Few were playing instruments and the others were doing this strange dance. We called it the Communist Propaganda Dance. By the time the dancing and singing was over we were done with the food. I got up to look for Her and Wenerd settled the check. I tried talking to the other pink ladies about the One. But not a single one could speak English. I was starting to get pissed. Wenerd came and grabbed me when I was trying to force my way “back stage”. “Boss, I did not think you were this serious”, he said. “I want you to be my best man”, I replied. This is when he started to drag me out. People were looking at us and then those damn Shoes showed up. Wenerd just pulled me towards a door which we hoped was the exit. It was.

We ran out into a real busy well lit street. Wenerd stopped in his tracks.

“Bugger, we are on Tower Road”, he whispered.
“So what”, I said, still pissed off over my near miss matrimony.
Tower Road is in fucking Singapore”, he moaned.
And then we saw the Singaporean walking towards us…

To be continued…

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Days of being wild - Part I

The lights of the TopTown Karaoke shimmered and beckoned. "Let’s put one bugger, before we go", whispered Wenerd. I obeyed him. We allowed the carcinogens infused with wonderful kaya to seep into our conscious. I know not if we were conscious from that point on. We walked towards the building with the blinding lights like knights before a conquest.

We were accosted by a lower level demon outside the place who welcomed us in. We said all we want is Angkor beer and karaoke. "No problem", he said and ushered us in. The first thing I saw was shoes. Lots of them. And they were moving and whispering in Khemer. All of a sudden there was this big fat shoe in front of us leading us up some stairs and right into a room. While climbing the stairs I noticed some terrace farming happening at the end of the hall. They were cultivating shoes. Fucking live ones at that. I was slowly starting to shit bricks.

We kept chanting, "Beer and karaoke", as if that mantra would keep us from harm. We saw a door looming up in front of us. Big Shoe flipped the sign hanging on the door and led us into a room. We continued chanting our mantra. But no one was listening to us. Another shoe trotted in holding a Sudarshana Chakra in her hand. “Bugger, we won’t be able to afford this. The room, the shoes and that damn chakra looks expensive”, whispered Wenerd. He immediately turned to Big Shoe and announced, “We want to piss. Show us the bathroom.” She glared us and led us across the room into a hallway and pointed towards the end. We spied an exit sign right opposite the bathrooms and we made directly for it. But exit it was not. We found ourselves in this maze of rooms with VIP signs. I saw one with VIP No 6 written on it. “Dey, 6 is my lucky number. Let’s go.” I cried. And we went…

To be continued…