post dinner party

to do a first blog in a drunken haze is something i'll probably live to regret. but seeing as i'm in a state of flux where nothing much is happening, i have nothing much to report.
(is this blog just to you guys or to the world at large?)

so i just got back from dinner at a friend's place, and met up with someone i've met many times before. but tonight felt very different.
for a start, we were both now single.
we caught up. talked about our lives, past loves, present thoughts, future plans.
she played with her hair.
i watched her eyes.
we held each others gaze for ever so much longer than necessary.
we held hands.
and i pushed away the strands of hair from her eyes.
and she watched my lips as i spoke.

but she's 'maybe seeing someone new'.
and i'm 'maybe not ready for anything new'.

and now i'm home.
and she's in bed.. elsewhere.
bollocks.