Friday, July 16, 2004

Mary Chapin Carpenter concert rant

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother going to concerts. The artists never play the song I want (Joan Baez - Farewell Angelina, Rush - Subdivisions, PPM - In the early morning rain). I bet Knopfler will not play "Hand in hand" or "Silvertown" in his 2005 tour.  Not my fault if I always like the offbeat numbers.I wanted to hear Ms. Carpenter play "John Doe #24"...never happened. I even screamed out the name of the song during a moment of silence in between songs. Mary never heard me, but I did get dirty looks from the rows near where I was sitting. One lady behind me mumbled, "She never did that song". Challenged her to a $20 bet. For some reason she thought I was rude. Her husband asked her to put up or shut up. She promptly stalked out of the theater. The husband whom I think was fat wanted more space and boy did he get it.

BTW, I was at this concert alone. Thanks to my friend Sambar42, who decided that he needed to swing a sharp sword at other peoples throat rather than listen to music. "You know, pa, these days youngsters have no culture. All kattans". Yes, yes, he is a ninja for hire.  But thanks to him I had ample space for my wide bottom. The lights went out and as I was settling in, I saw two women being ushered into the seats next to mine. One resembled a babe like shape in the dim torchlight of the usher. I then proceeded to try and check  her out in the dull light provided by the exit sign. WTF, I see hair on arms. Hair on face. I then said "Oh shite" in my mind just like Suresh Gopi in Commissioner. So I immediately tell her "Madam, please use this seat to keep your coat, your purse and your razor" and I jump to next one.
The concert after this was brilliant, if you can ignore the idiot who showed up to open for her. Some dick head who thought he was God's gift to Nashville. Oh Mary, what happened to your anti-Nashville stand. Thank god she played "Stones in the road". Brought back high school memories and of the movie "Bye, bye love". Randy Quaid's "destroying the porch" scene is just classic. Very much along the lines of Pacino in Heat...."You can sit on my couch, sleep with my wife but you can't watch my f***king TV". To my surprise she even belted out "The bug" which to date I thought was a Dire Straits song. Looks like it is an age old country hit. She had me mesmerized for the rest of the concert. I think her new album is a must buy. Sound like it will be as folksy as her '94 album. 
I never know how to end stuff, (which is why I prefer programming as you can always end with a } and never go wrong) . With that folks, I am signing off from my first blog.


Mudra Rakshasa said...

Excellent rant! I have also been heavily let down by concerts... And I have gone cool to them. Of all the ones I have been to only a Leonard Cohen and a PP&M concert in recent years has not been disappointments.
Rant On!

Aslan said...

methinks its time for yer next post.. have been waitin. btw lovely post of course.. esply the suresh gopi part ;)

EnJay said...

Is there a single Suresh Gopi movie in which he doesn't say 'Shit'?? Hmmmm... Don't think so...

Kogi Kaishakunin said...


Quite true...Suresh Gopi says shit in almost every movie of his :-)
Some some of his new dialogs are hilarious...
"I will strip you threadbare..."
"That sounds like back scratching..."