Sunday, February 07, 2010
The Succubus
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Rama Rama
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6:47 PM
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Friday, February 05, 2010
To The Deputy Director of Tourism, Goa
“You can't blame the locals; they have never seen such women. Foreign tourists must maintain a certain degree of modesty in their clothing. Walking on the beaches half-naked is bound to titillate the senses,” New Delhi's Mail Today newspaper quoted Pamela Mascarhenas, Goa's deputy director of tourism, as saying Friday.
To the Deputy Director of Tourism, Goa
Pamela Mascarhenas,
By making the statement above you are blaming women instead of taking responsibility of the issue. If you believe a person's dress is culturally inappropriate, you may continue to believe so, but you cannot defend any act of violence. A person inappropriately dressed according to your idea of 'Indianness' does not deserve to be attacked, assaulted, molested, raped or even whistled at.
For your information, women from across age groups be it 3 month old babies of 90 year old have been raped. They have been raped in saris, burkhas, salwar kameez, school uniforms, bikinis, jeans, skirts, shirts,lungis. Women have been molested, assaulted, raped at all times of the day, and in public places.
We hope this will direct you towards taking responsibility of these incidents by actually addressing male behaviour and men in Goa, for which you will first have to address yourself by accepting this truth.
We have evidence even though we don't really need it.
Thank you for your attention,
An Indian girl who loves her saris and her hot pants.
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coriander salamander
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11:50 PM
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Thursday, October 01, 2009
Unidentified Flying Lights
My phone was whistling. The caller id revealed it was Mohanlal. Sometimes I wish for the days when each phone caller was revealed only after the first words were spoken. But that little hint of the unknown is no longer with us. At least for a change ML's greeting was not the predictable what's up chutiye. Instead it was...
ML: Macha, I think I am in trouble. I was standing outside sucking on a cancer stick when I noticed these lights in the sky. I think its aliens.
His voice did not hint at any consumption of alcohol so I decided not to hang up.
ML: The lights seem to be chasing one another.
KK: Where exactly are these lights?
ML: In the sky, macha. Kind of below the clouds but at the same time above them. They keep going in and out of the clouds. Planes have no effect on them. I think they dodge the planes.
Of course, planes will have no effect! They are fucking lights and objects are known to pass through them. But I refrained from imparting this knowledge to him hoping he would continue to blabber.
KK: Why don't you try taking some pictures?
ML: That will be dangerous. What if they kidnap me on spotting the flash?
KK: Well, if they do kidnap you please come and pick me up too. I am kind of bored here.
In my head I was thinking... I get a free BMW and a flat screen TV.
ML: Of course da. I will try and convince the aliens. But they might not listen to me.
I could now hear him rummaging around for his camera.
ML: I am now trying to take pictures but nothing is showing up.
The idiot was trying to take pictures of the night sky with a dinky little pocket camera!
KK: Try turning the flash off and turn on slow-mo. :-)
ML: Not working dude. But I think it is over. They have to come to fuck Earth and decided to attack the US first. Aliens are smart and must figured out that if the US falls, the rest will be easy.
KK: But won't the military have already picked up on these flying objects?
ML: No! I think they are using infra-red.
And of course using infra-red explains everything! I started to wonder where he was coming up with this stuff. If it was me I could attribute to reading way too many graphic novels in the recent times. But this mallu boy has been reading the Mahabaratha for the past two years. But then again they say that the epic contains all stories known to man.
But I started feeling sad for the guy so I tried to distract him about Wenerd's latest email where he has elegantly abused Zen about his coconut ways.
ML: (Laughing). So Wenerd has fucked up Zen too? Let me go in and check my email.
(30 seconds later)
ML: Macha, the Internet is not working. I think the aliens have hacked it.
(He rushes outside)
ML: The lights are still here. I am telling you this is an unnatural occurrence. I am glad I called you. No one else will understand the seriousness of the situation.
KK: I understand completely. Don't worry I am here for you.
ML: Now we have a clue about the existence of alien life forms. I think God has finally listened to our prayers. I have finally seen an UFO.
KK: But macha, you are just seing lights. There is no object in the picture. So technically these are Unidentified Flying Lights.
ML: That is brilliant. Yes, yes!!! What I am seeing is an UFL!
Thankfully the conversation soon meandered its way to saner grounds. The UFLs soon disappeared and Mohanlal continues to dwell on planet Earth.
Posted by
Rama Rama
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11:03 PM
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Sunday, November 25, 2007
The Fool’s Farewell
“Sure, that will be sweet”, she replied.
“We will have to share my ear phones. Do you mind?” I queried.
“We have shared much more so why not ear phones too”, she said with that mischievous smile that I knew I was going to miss.
I silently handed her an ear piece and turned on the soundtrack of the Quiet American on my MP3 player. I lay down beside her on the bed and popped the other ear piece in. The slow sensuous voice of that unknown Vietnamese singer filled my world. If a soul could cry, this is how it would sound.
We did not touch. The only thing that connected us was the music. We looked at each other. Her eyes had more streaks of yellow. We said nothing to each other. All that needed to be spoken was already part of the sound waves of the past. Soon sleep overtook us and I dozed off. I woke to the stars shining on her ceiling as the last song in the album was playing. I looked at her sleeping peacefully. I eased the ear piece from her. The silence did not wake her. Easing out of the bed, I made my way to living area of the studio. The Fool’s poem nudged its way into my head and I sat down to write it down.
I shall partner you no more.
I shall watch another turn you
As you move across the floor.
In that last dance of chances
When I bid your life goodbye
I hope she treats you kindly.
I will hope you learn to fly.1
I looked up to see if the scratching of my pen woke her. She was sleeping blissfully without a care in the world. I finished jotting down the poem from memory and slipped it into an envelope. I then quietly packed my stuff thinking longingly of the happy few days spent in the tiny studio. I then snuck into the bedroom and looked at her. She did not wake. The envelope with the poem I left on the bed next to her and stealthily made my way out, hoping the closing of the door would wake her.
When I know you'll not be mine
I will let you go with longing
And the hope that you'll be fine.1
The elevator brought me down to Earth and I then had to rake my head to figure out where I parked my car. After walking a few streets I realized I had parked it right inside the apartment complex. I turned the car on allowing it to warm up. A cancer stick seemed inviting, so I hopped out and sucked on one. I hoped she would have realized that I had left by now. She did not come.
We shall know each other's minds,
We shall part with our regrets
When the tie no longer binds.1
As the light of cigarette dimmed so did my hope. I looked up at the night sky. There were no stars. I got into the car and moved on…
1. "The Fool's Poem" by Robin Hobb from The Tawny Man trilogy.
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Rama Rama
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11:57 PM
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Sunday, June 03, 2007
Days of being wild - Part III
Part I
Part II
The Singaporean’s name was Nek and he seemed quite happy to see us. We were bewildered. “Boys, you should have waited for me before venturing into the Tower”, he quipped excitedly gesturing towards the building behind us. We had no idea what he was talking about. Wenerd and I glanced back and the Tower stood there looking ominously back at us. Nek had his arms around our shoulders and was trying to drag us back into the building. I tried telling him that it was a farcaster but he would not listen. Wenerd too seemed a little worried about going back in but I soon realized it was for different reasons. “Bugger, what are you going to do about the people inside”, he asked Nek. We were promptly given a packet each which he asked to put into our pockets. “Use it only when there is no other hope”, he warned. My mind was still reeling from dealing with the Shoes, missing matrimony, being farcasted and I did not quite comprehend this exchange.
Walking into the Tower somehow did not farcast us back to the Khemer Empire. The inside turned out to be a mall with bars and night clubs lining the sides. I followed the Singaporean and Wenerd into one of them. It was called The Ipanema Club and my first glance assuaged my rising fear. We plopped our tired asses at a table and soon we were plied with alcohol. As we softly waded into the booze I realized I was in fact happy to be here and it was good to see Nek after eons.
As the beer started doing a number in my head, I noticed that there were uncommonly huge numbers of hot looking Asian women wandering around us. I was about to ask Nek about them when one of the hotties practically seated herself in my lap. I swallowed very slowly. She said nothing and proceeded to kiss my neck. Then I felt a pin sink itself into my jugular and I did a fade away, throwing the girl off my lap. I ended up awkwardly on my ass clutching my neck. The girl was standing over me smiling. “Don’t want to part with some of your life blood, sweetheart?” she asked and started to walk away. I was completely confused when she turned and snarled at me revealing it was not pins that were playing with my jugular. She seemed to be a vampire.
Nek helped me to feet and asked with a dumb expression on his face, “Fucker, what made you ask her to come over?” “I did not ask her over and what is the place?” I explained. He started to grin and I could hear that bastard Wenerd guffaw behind me. “Hot Asian girls make your blood flow brother. But in here they happen to be nocturnal creatures too. So it makes it more exciting. Wenerd and I planned to bring you here all along”, he revealed. My friends were conspiring to get me killed. With that thought in my head I lurched, weaving my way through vampires to the bar.
I ordered a double Jack on the rocks and was soon joined by the two fuckers who seemed very amused. “Boss, we can leave if you want”, said Wenerd in between his mirth. I downed the double and waited for it to work its magic on me. “Fuck it boys, lets put a few drinks and chill the motherfucker down.” I said, suddenly filled with some misplaced bravado. Almost in answer we were accosted by the two most beautiful vampires. But they made a beeline for my fine friends. With much amusement I watched them feint and hold off the attack and magically they did. One of them detached herself and grabbed me all in one fast blur. She was breath taking. Her name was Nimnam and she wanted my blood and only mine. I did not know if I had the power to resist this one.
She had her arms around my neck and was looking longingly at my jugular. I closed my eyes and immersed myself in her aura. “Your friends have left you”, she whispered in my ear. My eyes almost popped out of my sockets as I watched the two of them slink off towards the stage to ogle at the Malay. “Let’s go and drink some of your blood”, Nimnam continued to whisper. I could not answer because the band came on with a really loud number for which I am sure I had my friends to thank for. I somehow detached myself from her and tried to make my way out of the bar. But I could not shake her. She had me back in her grasp again near the door. “Just a little blood”, she crooned. I gave in. Only a pint I hoped. Her sharp molars made punctures in my neck and I could feel my life blood seep away. Two minutes which to me seemed like an eternity passed and she let go off me. “Jack Daniels. Yummy”, she said smiling that deadly smile of hers, “Go back to your friends now. They are waiting for you. And don’t worry. No one will bother you tonight. I have left my mark on you. BTW, give me my packet.” I handed her the packet that Nek gave me and then she disappeared.
I shakily walked back into the Ipanema. Wenerd and Nek were leaning against the bar looking at me with a dazed expression on their faces. I joined them in their leaning. “Good show bugger”, says Wenerd handing me another Jack.
(Chris slowly pans the camera out. You know how these scenes are. There is a blur of motion around the three of us but we are the only things in focus.)
Reality slowly kicks in. Nek and Wenerd realize that they have to work tomorrow. I have to contemplate my trek back home. The three of us slowly make our way out of the Tower onto the road. Wenerd hails a taxi. I glance back one final time at the Tower. I don’t think I will ever forget the vampire from Ipanema.
(“That’s a take folks”, says Pen-ek and everything goes dark)
Posted by
Rama Rama
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10:30 PM
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Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Duhh
All the way from down under jadeeyez showed me :
The Singhs
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zingaree
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3:19 AM
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Sunday, April 22, 2007
Neela Vacuum
A neela vacuum cleaner magically appeared at my doorstep a few weeks ago. I first spied it sitting outside my apartment one evening after a days work. I have no idea how it got there. There was much speculation about it between me and Aaromal. I was afraid it was a booby trapped apparatus left outside by a certain ex-girlfriend. I was afraid to even test it out. Aaromal wanted to plug it and then run away while I turned it on.
All the while it continued to sit outside my apartment come rain, snow or shine until this weekend. I was sitting outside reading and drinking beer when my cute upstairs neighbor walked by. I stopped and asked her if she knew anything about this magic vacuum. She said she thought it was mine. I confessed my fears about it being booby trapped. She calmly picked it up and said, "Don't worry, I will throw in the bin for you" and walked away with it. I now really know how Michael Yossarian felt when the new recruits walked away with "The Dead Man in the Tent".
PS: Aaromal must be saying, "Avande uru neela vacuum. Olake de moode."
Posted by
Rama Rama
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10:44 PM
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Thursday, April 19, 2007
Ms. Flipflopsinwinter and FabIndia
Ms. Flipflopsinwinter was always full of fun, humor and laughter. I tried in vain to make her feel blue and melancholic. I then prayed to the lower level demon Azazel for a boon to help me in this endeavor. So after 120 straight days of being melancholic, he appeared before and thundered, "Buy her a blue shirt from FabIndia and you will have your wish". He then disappeared in a "puff" of smoke.
On my trip to India last December I purchased this weapon and presented it to Ms. Flipflops with great ceremony. I hoped she would wear it soon and she did. I received an email from her saying the shirt made her blue. I was going to jump in joy when I read something about the dye not washing off. I then realized it had just messed up the rest of her laundry. As I was thinking that I might have to end up buying the evil girl a fresh new wardrobe, she explained that she wore the shirt in the rain and it turned HER blue. Damn you Azazel. I should have listened to my mother who still maintains that FabIndia is overpriced shit meant only for NRIs.
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Rama Rama
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8:09 PM
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Saturday, March 24, 2007
And so it ends...
This is not how he would have wished to leave his mark on the World Cup 2007. But unfortunately this is the image that will be stuck in minds of billions of viewers. Bowled through bat and pad by an young fiery upstart. Hunched down as if the ball had kept low, Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar leaves his World Cup career bereft of any magic. Memorable magic on the sport field can happen when the chips are down and the stage is big. SRT consistently failed in such scenarios. Our lives have seen good performances from the little master but they all have been empty of the final victory.
And hence the World Cup 2007 has come to a crashing halt for the Indian cricket team. Hopes of billions have been dashed. And the big three of my generation will leave this game without a WC to their name. I don't know why but it saddens and depresses me. But it does. It really really hurts to see this team bow out of the tournament without even a whimper. At least it did not end with violence and death like it did for the Pakistanis.
The only bright spot in this cup has been the voice of one lone gentleman. With Bangladesh well placed in the chase, his voice softly intoned, "If we can get half the side out for 150, we still have a chance". With Dravid fighting valiantly at the end he prayed, "Dravid must do something to see us home". He did not lose hope until the final ball. And notice the use of the words we and us cause the speaker was not Indian. He was John Geoffrey Wright. Hats off to you my friend. If it is was left to me I would honor you with an Indian citizenship, little as it is worth for I know not how to thank you.
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Rama Rama
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11:04 AM
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Sunday, February 18, 2007
Days of being wild - Part II
Part I
We found ourselves in a large room with rows of tables and chairs. There was a stage at the far end. On the whole it looked like a cross between a restaurant and a hospital dorm. A few people were eating in a corner. There a bunch of beautiful Asian women in identical pink dresses walking around. One of them came towards us and led us to a table. We followed without asking any questions. We were just happy to be away from the Shoes. A menu was placed in front of us. Wenerd instinctively asked for beer and karaoke. Our waitress stared, smiled at us and walked away. This is when I noticed her. She swayed her hips gently when she walked. She was breath taking. “Boss, she is HOT. I think we should just fuck it and eat here. I want to be waited up on by her.”, I told Wenerd. He murmured his agreement. I opened the menu to find it completely in Korean. The only thing in English was the name of the restaurant, Pyongyang Friendship Restaurant. So we were in
Wenerd hoped that my babe would help us order food. I soon spied her floating towards us with
The food soon showed up but my babe did not. She was replaced by another. In their pink outfits they all looked the same. But I could tell the difference. I was outraged. I tried telling her that I won’t eat if I am not served by my babe. She too spoke not our language. Wenerd calmed me down and said we will look for her after eating. I was hungry too so we ate like pigs. The unnamed dishes were very very good.
In the middle of our meal we heard a commotion and soon found the pink waitresses were on the stage. Few were playing instruments and the others were doing this strange dance. We called it the Communist Propaganda Dance. By the time the dancing and singing was over we were done with the food. I got up to look for Her and Wenerd settled the check. I tried talking to the other pink ladies about the One. But not a single one could speak English. I was starting to get pissed. Wenerd came and grabbed me when I was trying to force my way “back stage”. “Boss, I did not think you were this serious”, he said. “I want you to be my best man”, I replied. This is when he started to drag me out. People were looking at us and then those damn Shoes showed up. Wenerd just pulled me towards a door which we hoped was the exit. It was.
We ran out into a real busy well lit street. Wenerd stopped in his tracks.
“Bugger, we are on
“So what”, I said, still pissed off over my near miss matrimony.
“
And then we saw the Singaporean walking towards us…
Posted by
Rama Rama
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10:32 PM
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Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Days of being wild - Part I
The lights of the TopTown Karaoke shimmered and beckoned. "Let’s put one bugger, before we go", whispered Wenerd. I obeyed him. We allowed the carcinogens infused with wonderful kaya to seep into our conscious. I know not if we were conscious from that point on. We walked towards the building with the blinding lights like knights before a conquest.
We were accosted by a lower level demon outside the place who welcomed us in. We said all we want is
We kept chanting, "Beer and karaoke", as if that mantra would keep us from harm. We saw a door looming up in front of us. Big Shoe flipped the sign hanging on the door and led us into a room. We continued chanting our mantra. But no one was listening to us. Another shoe trotted in holding a Sudarshana Chakra in her hand. “Bugger, we won’t be able to afford this. The room, the shoes and that damn chakra looks expensive”, whispered Wenerd. He immediately turned to Big Shoe and announced, “We want to piss. Show us the bathroom.” She glared us and led us across the room into a hallway and pointed towards the end. We spied an exit sign right opposite the bathrooms and we made directly for it. But exit it was not. We found ourselves in this maze of rooms with VIP signs. I saw one with VIP No 6 written on it. “Dey, 6 is my lucky number. Let’s go.” I cried. And we went…
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Rama Rama
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11:24 PM
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Friday, January 12, 2007
Do someone you really love?
Best song lyrics of the month:
Girls who are boys
Who like boys to be girls
Who do boys like theyre girls
Who do girls like theyre boys
Always should be someone you really love
-Blur
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coriander salamander
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12:27 PM
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Thursday, January 04, 2007
Learning English in Smalltown, ndia
Aardon & Pardon went to the garden.
Aardon died.
Who left?
Pardon?
Aardon & Pardon went to the garden.
Aardon died.
Who left?
Pardon!
Aardon & Pardon went to the garden.
Aardon died.
Who left?
Pardon.
Aardon & Pardon went to the garden.
Aardon died.
Who left?
Pardon
Aardon & Pardon went to the garden.
Aardon died.
Who left?
Posted by
coriander salamander
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10:14 PM
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Saturday, December 23, 2006
Missing
I am missing something...
I will know what it is when I find it...
Posted by
Rama Rama
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2:06 AM
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Monday, October 23, 2006
The Face on the Waters
The kayak skimmed the crest of the wave, chopping its way through. There was not another human in sight.
Black flowers blossom
Fearless on my breath 1
Large boats shimmered on the horizon. The ocean carried me towards them on the swell of its deep breath.
Water is my eye
Most faithful mirror 1
I was at peace floating on the reflection of the clear blue sky. But this phantasmagoria was missing the dragons on the Other Wind. I turned a page...
1 Teardrop - Liz Fraser
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Rama Rama
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2:18 AM
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Friday, September 22, 2006
cool baldman
An ex- close friend of an ex-boyfriend of mine was passing through my new town. So we went out to dinner. He likes sushi so I researched and found the best sushi place I was told about. We eventually reached sushi ko at around 10. It is a small restaurant. The waitress was friendly but sleepy and when we asked her if the person sitting at one end of the sushi bar near the bathroom was Andre Agassi. She said yes, he comes here all the time.
He was soft spoken. Waved good bye politely and told the others at the bar that it was nice meeting them, thanked the staff.
my friend was mad that he didnt bring his tennis racket so he could get it autographed.
He looks much smaller live
the sushi was delicious
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coriander salamander
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12:22 AM
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Thursday, September 21, 2006
Martinis at the Keswick
I had bought tickets for the Pink Martini concert many moons ago. I was waiting for some strange person to show up who could be dragged there for company. Low and behold, Ms. Flipflopsinwinter appeared. She seemed strange enough and off we went...
The lead singer of band, China Forbes is hot, gorgeous with a voice that can hypnotise you. To top it off she sings in five different languages and moves with such beauteous grace. Yes, I am in love and black is the color of my true love's hair... But enough about my true love. The rest of the band was amazing too. The cello was indeed the sound of a soul crying. The trumpets made you want to leap out and LIVE. The drums made your heart thump. The songs were funny, soulful, full of joy and melancholic all at the same time. The night all in all was a wonderful cocktail indeed...
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Rama Rama
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11:21 PM
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Friday, September 15, 2006
Sharing a cigarette
I dont often lend cigarettes, just the same way as I dont lend optimisim. Not out of choice, but somehow I very rarely come across people asking for one. These days, nobody cares. Everyone seems to have their pack or nobody seems to want to ask a stranger. The days of sharing cigarettes are long gone I realise; the days of university.
I often look forward to offering a cigarette to some one wishing to bum one. And I would gladly hand one; helps networking, I figured.
But this other day, I was on the other side of the story. The pack was over and I didnt have the time to pick a new one. I was in a rush to catch the flight. I got through immigration and realised that I did have about 15 minutes before boarding began.
I decided to try my luck at the smoked filled cigarette lounge. There were a few people scattered around the room. I took a seat, carefully surveying as to whom to approach. Who would be the one who would hand me one without any reluctance. I am very careful when it comes to an opportunity to get rejected. So I always measure my steps, read body language and then come to an informed decision on whom to approach. As a result, I have missed out many a promotion, autograph and introductions.
As I finished a 2-minute survey of the far right corner of the room, I heard,
"Would you like a cigarette?"
I knew it was her, I knew it was a Davidhoff but I couldnt believe my eyes.
She was there, in her dark blue suit, with the hair starched & wavy, make-up solidly splayed on and the smile, as knowing as ever.
- Yes, I would like one -
As I wasnt carrying my lighter either, a gold plated lighter gun immediately sprung up and lit the ciggy.
- Its a pleasure to have met you -
"Really. Why is that?"
- Its not often one comes across... someone who has managed to captivate me -
"I have?"
- Yes ma'm, you indeed did -
"Thats strange, I dont think I have ever met you. Am sorry, my memory fails me often".
Not sure if she was taking the piss or it was just her modesty, I smiled.
I assured her that its not her fault.
"Ok, where did you meet me?"
- It was a long time ago ma'm -
"I am waiting.."
I couldnt believe my eyes, really. I normally would pounce upon such surreal moments with full gusto. Today there was nothing.
Through the smoky lounge and beyond the full length windows, I could only hear:
.. Rainsbows and waterfalls run..
In the garden I see
West purple shower bells and tea..
Pretty music I hear
So happy and loud..
Feel sunshine sparkle pink and blue.. *
"You are a strange little fella you know", she said as she stubbed hers out.
"Have a good day" she said and the heels clicked by.
* Shuggie Otis on Strawberry Letter 23
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wenerd
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11:16 AM
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Sunday, August 27, 2006
Lost in time
No time for depression
No time for melancholy
Can't sell your soul for peace of mind 1
I wish for happier days
1. Square One by Tom Petty
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Rama Rama
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10:55 PM
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Saturday, August 26, 2006
The Apple, the Pod and I.
Prologue:
Things have been disappearing. And, they disappear, while I am in transit, mysteriously. Oooooooooh.
Take for example my father's glasses, he wore them at my aunt's place which is a block from the sugarcane-juicewalla who is on the end of our block. On his way back home, down the street to the juicewalla and then right turn to go up the slope into the elevator into his 9th floor fancy abode, his glasses disappeared. Kaput.
Ch I
Similarly lost, was my wifey's podie. (Notice that the previous sentence was not in active voice) It destroyed the much needed recent balance my life and I had acquired. A balance that I had dropped when puberty hit me, ten years ago. Finally at 22, not only did I graduate college, I was also comfortable in my politics and my decision to be a liberal in-the-business- of-saving-the-world realist and I had found my balance somewhere in the khaki laptop bag I carried around. I carried it around because, I had many homes in the east coastal united states.
And it was in one of the bright orange pockets of the khaki bag that the podie was placed. And then it disappeared along with my balance. Just like my father's second pair of eyes, the soundtrack to wifey's life was lost. And all I had done, I'd like to clarify, while the balance and podie were busy losing themselves, was go from one home to another and to another in search of a bed and some company.
(What I had done too, however, was left the wifey's company, she didn't want to join, it was my other home not hers. We are separated you see - I sleep on the couch.)
So. My khaki bag left couch, lost black apple and found imbalance and a bed.
Ch II
Following this, I made the mistake of sitting, drunk, in an arena with approximately three thousand nine hundred and ninety nine other mostly-white liberals to indulge in political humor. I sat up high in the arena, problematically, with two pro-israeli, libertarian, nationalistic, american jew friends of mine, with 27 bald heads twinkling on the floor section directly below me.
The situation begs three questions:
1. Why did I count the heads? But Why? The question begs itself, especially because I had just paid two thousand three hundred and thirty one rupees to see a very funny man, be very funny.
2. Why is the national political religious identity of my fellow spectators mentioned and generalized so?
Important digression: Stand up comedians are important cultural commentators in our modern/postmodern world. They assess our reality and point out that it is very funny. It is their job to analyze the world and a very funny man, has superior analytical skills.
Ch III
Answer to question 1: much needed distraction.
This very funny man analyzed his world and made enough money to flee the country once he had a breakdown. He recovered and came back and stood before us to point out to this audience, once again, that weapons of mass destruction were built into our imaginations (or in Saddam's house) to support a singular unaffordable life style.
Its an old joke. WMDs are a joke. As they should be. (WEAPONS of MASS DESTRUCTION. Like the crystals of Krypton to build a continent that will wipe out most of North America!˚)
Three thousand nine hundred and ninety nine people laughed, my two friends included. As they should have. I however, however sadly, sat in passive rage and then, noticed many shiny heads. To distract myself I counted them.
My rage was stupid enough, storming out in rage would have made me look like an idiot who couldn't take a joke. Instead, I pondered my generation's hair loss epidemic.
Answer to question 2: my opinion, my bias (Weapon of mass destructions)
Things were said by my friends: "Israel might bomb Lebanon back to the 70s (ha. ha.) and I'd be more than glad if it did"; "everyone has a right to choose, people should be able to decide whether they want to drink coca-cola, pesticides or no pesticides;"
"America should and has the right to protect its interests."
How could i laugh WITH them about nonexistent Weapons of mass destruction ?
And we laugh. And those who run this country today, signed a Statement of Principles nine years ago:
'Our aim is to remind Americans of these lessons and to draw their consequences for today. Here are four consequences:
• we need to increase defense spending significantly if we are to carry out our global
responsibilities today and modernize our armed forces for the future;
• we need to strengthen our ties to democratic allies and to challenge regimes hostile to our interests and values;
• we need to promote the cause of political and economic freedom abroad;
• we need to accept responsibility for America's unique role in preserving and extending an international order friendly to our security, our prosperity, and our principles.
Such a Reaganite policy of military strength and moral clarity may not be fashionable today. But it is necessary if the United States is to build on the successes of this past century and to ensure our security and our greatness in the next.'*
We need laughter. I need laughter. Reader's digest has proved that laughter is the best medicine. Medicine for?
Imbalance.
So, imbalance is where the personal met the political.
"The difference between the sprout and the bean...It is a twisted string"**
The apple, the pod and I.
And I was done for. This meeting of personal and political imbalance, led me to believe that nothing could ever make me feel better. Not true. But for two days I had a horrible empty sinking feeling and the twisted string in my chest got pulled lower and lower pulling down my vitalorgans.
Epilogue:
If one closes one of their nostrils with their thumb and inhales with the other and then closes the just-inhaled-from nostril with their pinky and exhales with the just-closed-by-thumb nostril one breathes equally.
Equal breathing, my mother just told me, if done 20-30 times a day, brings balance in thought and mind.
I vow to breathe equally. Speaking of which, if you want to be cool you must use nonsensical adverbs. Proof: Scanner Darkly, Gnarls Barkley (not up for argument).
I am moving to the capital of the United States, where personal is unavoidably political. I will be social, entrepreneurially.
Deep breathly.
˚From Superman Returns
*See: http://www.newamericancentury.org/statementofprinciples.htm
** lyrics from Joanna Newsom's The Sprout and the Bean
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