after sometime it would sound like " mara mara mara" which in hindi means "die die die"

The travelling circus consists of five Indians who live in Eastern North America They meet over long weekends and holidays such as Thanksgiving. The group’s meetings primarily consist of drinking and conversation,while other friends come and go. The group is gifted in its ability to make each other the butt of jokes, creating, a rather comfortable milieu that even temporary participants and passers-by tend to enjoy. Some are more gifted in narratives and story-telling, some more so, in plain old verbal abuse.
Comic narratives form a large chunk of the conversation in this group’s meetings. The stories are also primarily about the circus members themselves and in making fun of each other through these stories that are told and retold, they confirm the the group’s solidarity.
The circus itself consists of two female undergraduate students Khemcho and coriandersalamander and three fools zen, Kogi and minky. (minky, unfortunately, is missing.) They are all gathered in an average college student living room, conversing while kogi, the designated bartender has provided everyone with White Russians. The dynamics of this gathering are partly moulded by the relationships. The goal of the conversation is pure entertainment, or, the conversation itself, while the topics revolve around the participants. While becker's "vision of sanity" may not be evident...The goal lies perhaps, in what Tannen describes as “the emotional/aesthetic experience of a perfectly tuned conversation” where every circus memeber has a distinct role:


Kogi: OK. I shall describe. what happened.
khemcho: haaaaahahaahaha ha ha ha and salamander: mmmhehehe
. zen: And I'll have to tell you the truth aaafter that.
Kogi: oh fuck off da.
barkingmouse: Oooh so it was with you ?
zen:yaah (morosely)
(khemcho hhaaahahaaahaaaaahaaaahclap haa clapp ha)
. barkingmouse: okay. Tell me
. Kogi: Man, I am not going to say any lies da.
She was really... you were...she was drunk out of her mind. She passed out.
. Zen(interrupts): NO. The difference is not that she was paaassed out. but that she didn'twantto move.
. Kogi: Ya. So..
. zen: (interrupts again) you know when like people are passed you pick them up and they like flop and you can carry them?
. kogi: She was like that. (imitates a stiff fetal position, sitting up)
(Both kogi and zen, kogi glows, is fetal and looks retarded)
. zen: She rolled over and she was like that (imitates stiff fetal position horizontally) and so I am trying to scoop her up. And so, I'm trying to carry her but she's still in this V! and she is slipping.
(barkingmousehehahahahaha barkbark)
Kogi: So, all of a sudden I am coming out and I see Zen carrying this girl and she is like this (imitates stiff position again)
. zen: and you know when you carry some one they are like that and kind of you know and they plop (imitating). So I was trying to hold her head and her knees. But, then I am doing that (showing action) because then her head will loll and then you know she is like slipping down
Kogi: you know her spine is not a problem it is basically 'this V shape. And then after a point zen maaakes it to the bedroom and I hear this sound: DADDDADDDUDDDUM
I said, “what happened?”
and he goes, "Machaan, I just dropped her da"
khemcho:HAHAHAHAHCLAPTHUNDERHAHAHTEAAARRSSRAINHAAA
zen:And again so I yeah I had managed to get her head on to the bed which was the important thing and then I dropped her
khemcho(who is now awake): and the best is Minky and Kogi...these guys they are not even bothering to ...they are just watching
. zen(interrupting): and they are watching like that (imitates retarded bemused expression)
(everyone laughs)
.Kogi: No da, but, the worst thing I think I ever did to you was sitting next to you and clapping and laughing, while you were puking ...



feels good to be hear...thankyou.

I got the damn visa stamped!!!

The desi motherchuths at the Embassy... the assasin Lone Wolf and Cub is coming for you.

The guy who took my interview was an ABCD. He was thankfully chill about me not having my Temple Univ degree with me. He asked strange questions like... "Philly!!! Have you been to any Temple basketball games? Do you like to drink in South Street?"

So my "daughters", Khemcho and sister, I will be back to terrorize you.

Zeminky, I look forward to taking up my role again as Noburu Wataya of jacket defilers.

Zen, looks like the travelling circus will be visiting Toronto soon.

Sambar, I will soon join you again in a state of Xen.

Space Cadet, we shall see "In the mood for love" over some fine kaya.

Salamander you did not do your saaxy "ek do teen" dance number for me and now you have another chance.

Now to chill the motherfucker down...

who's the criminal mastermind..?

Well, I'll tell you who its not..

Me.

I went to watch a movie today. And as it ended, I noticed another movie was starting up in the next cinema. Eager to be cheap and not pay for a second ticket, and indulge in some victimless crime, I pondered on the job for a few seconds while in the loo, and then snuck into the second movie..

hoohoo.

Except that even this act raised my heart rate. I couldnt figure out how I could be caught (except for some gestapo style random ticket check at the cinema.. which never happens).. but still.. I could almost hear the Mission Impossible theme playing in my head as I walked into the second movie..

"your mission, should you choose to accept it..."

I'm obviously not cut out to be Ethan Hunte just quite yet.

Bummer.. guess I'll have to stay a damn upstanding citizen after all.

My first few days in blessed Chennai

Drove out of the airport and was hit with the fine aroma of fermented piss.

Looks like I will be spending most mornings with my head stuck with needles. Acupuncture rules!!!

It’s a myth that you can no longer drive in India once you are used to driving in the US of A.

Showed middle finger to a cop. It felt so good.

Swore at an auto-rickshaw driver in Tamil. That felt even better. I am sure he was wondering why I was laughing at the end of tirade.

You can STILL drive on the opposite side of the road and it does not cause much concern.

1 veg thali, molaguthani soup, 1 non-veg special thali, mutton fry, lime juice... cost = $5.21 = Awesome!!!

My dad still uses his phantom break when he is in the car with me. Our roles are reversed now… “Let’s go to Landmark, buy some books and then eat some ice-cream”

My mother still thinks that I am a virgin.

I now live in fear of being abducted by mosquitoes...

The Man at the Mann

I love all of the people
Yes I share the feast
So drink up my wine
And the song in my bones
I know the way
I can see by the moonlight
Clear as the day
Now come on
Come follow me home 1

A bespectacled, balding, 55 year old man ambled onto the stage wearing sneakers, jeans and a t-shirt and took the Mann Center by storm for two hours. To many he will always be the front man of Dire Straits but for me Mark Knopfler can be whatever he chooses to be.

For 2 hours he held me and the rest of crowd at the Mann enthralled by being electrifying, sublime, effortless and intense all at the same time. Nonchalantly switching guitars in mid song to play the finale for Sailing to Philadelphia just showed that he was the sensei of the chill. Listening to him belt out Sultans of Swing, Telegraph Road , Brothers in Arms was like taking a walk down memory lane for me. Ah sweet melancholy...

...cos I've run every red light on memory lane... 2

In contrast to the Dylan concert yesterday, Knopfler clearly showed that you don’t need to rework the entire song to make it seem fresh. All you have to do is tweak and extend. My only complaint…I wish he had played longer and that Wenerd was there.

1. Follow Me Home - Dire Straits
2. Telegraph Road - Dire Straits

Dylan is dead

Zeminky : Go to the Dylan concert we must.
Kogi Kaishakunin: No!!!! Suck he does live.
Zen: Old he is and die he shall soon. Go we must…

And we went to watch him at the Yogi Berra stadium in Montclair, NJ. After fighting traffic on the Garden State parkway, stuffing a camera into a shoe, and an argument with a drunk obnoxious 60 year old juvenile, we waited for Dylan to show up at the stadium. Willie Nelson was the opening act and he did his honky-tonk bit and then the abomination started. It was almost as if Dylan wanted to take the soul out of every song and throw the remains of the ghost to the crowd. Blind Willie McTell and Woody Guthrie must be squirming in their graves while Dylan plays live these days. Like a Rolling Stone was echoing back at him...

Now you don’t talk so loud
Now you don’t seem so proud…

I had come hoping he would play “Vision of Johanna”. I would have killed him if he had. This was one concert where I prayed the band would not return for the encore. But they did...

Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
Is just the freight train coming your way 1

If you guys want to listen to Dylan go for a Joan Baez or Peter, Paul & Mary concert. Thankfully the Man showed up at the Mann the next day and made up for everything.

1. No Leaf Clover - Metallica

The Girl with Kaleidescope Eyes

"To me, to me", I screamed.
"To the sea, to the sea", she cried.

A stone is thrown into a lake. It sinks to the bottom causing no ripples. The pond does not know about the stone.

There are no sides. There is no left or right, top or bottom, front or back. Dying is the only way to float free. 1

I walked into the ocean...

And the waves washed my tears and the wind my memories. 2

1. "The Wind-up bird chronicle" - Haruki Marukami
2. "Skellig" - Loreena Mckennitt

From cave man to comp guy

Somewhere along the way we went from being fire-making, hunter-gathering, animal taming men to the nacho-eating, grande latte drinking, videogame playing blokes. And the closest we come to being 'animal' (outside of rare moments in the sexual arena) is when we're killing alien-zombie hybrids on a ring shaped planet on Halo. Or is it... ? When mulling on this very question, I came upon another string of analogies...

(and I apologise if this seems to be the style of all my blogs.. how is A like B?)

Is the pride from connecting all the cables in our complicated music-tv-dvd systems and programming the VCR what remains of the joy of building that cave fire? And is that manly feeling from roasting meat on the barbeque whats left over of the primitive hunter? And is the urge to drive giant trucks what passes for taming wild horses? *

* This applies to many truck like vehicles.. but not for red corvettes.. which is just a man's way of saying "I have a really small penis and need to compensate".

kids and crack

In keeping with the general theme of my blogs, I'll probably live to regret saying this.. but here goes... A little while ago, and perhaps under the influence of substances of a dubious nature, i made an interesting realization.

Having a kid is like developing a crack habit.

"What is this blasphemous bollocks he spouts?" I hear you say.. but hear me out. So what do crackheads and parents have in common?

1. Most of their days are spent thinking about their habit
2. Most their money is spent on sustaining their habit
3. They drift off from their old friends and start to hang out with other people who have the same habit
4. They stop leading the full lives they had before in order to make more time for their habit
5. After sustaining the habit for a long time, they are left shells of the people they used to be..

A somewhat cynical approach some would say. But there you go.

Of countless cups of French vanilla and hopeless diets

So here I am burning midnight oil most nights... not for myself, but to stay awake and keep people I know company. Lately I have wondering if its more difficult to have a successful career - you know- like work hard at getting ahead in the rat race- make tonnes of money which you have time to spend... or live the good life by not having all that success and money to deal with... who am I kidding. They are both bloody tough... now ofcourse we all wish we had the best of both worlds and I am sure that is possible... when you figure it out let me know- and let me make the money!


I watched I am Sam (yes finally) and cried buckets of tears (no surprises there as usual!) and agreed on the simple theory (that most email forwards propagate- ) Live each day as though it were your last. Hell then I wouldn't have to worry bout saving and holidays in the Caribbean or more realistically what to cook for dinner or losing weight!!

Is this a woman thing... to not be happy with the present always looking for 'improvement' and not living in the moment? ok- don't answer that!

Right now I am all geared up to change the world and find a recipe for whirled peas.

Mark Knopfler in town

March 5th 1930 hrs at Bandra-Kurla complex, a dream will come alive. not with dire straits though. some numbers that will be played - calling elvis, walk of life, heavy fuel, what it is, R&J, sultans, money for nothing, so far away, on every street, brothers in arms, pyroman, done with bonaparte, junkie doll, prairie wedding, speedway at nazareth, telegraph road, and hopefully 'once upon in a time in the west'.

Will be well prepared. Good time for you guys to come down.

Whats Quentin Tarantino doing here

Chungking express - Takeshi Kaneshiro, Tony Leung, Brigitte Lin, Faye Wong

Watched the movie last week. directed by this guy called Wong Kar-Wai based out of HK. heard a lot about this and other movies he had made from a person who has been hunting for a very long time for the Chungking. had briefly attempted seeing another movie of his called 'happy together' a while back (the viewing got aborted minutes into it).

been thinking about the Chungking and couldnt really figure what was about it that clicked. suppose the randomness. today, came across what sofia coppola had to say about 'lost in translation' - "i like movies that aren't so much story-driven, but you feel like you are in place". very apt for Chungking.

super visuals, great photography, cool acting. a knack of capturing the normality of a few people's lives - to the extent that one gets the feeling that the story is being created as the movie goes along. the script did get written a few hours before each days shoot! and a bonus: a very craftly compiled sound track - all of 3 songs thats continously played. very slick.

Million Dollar Baby

I am sure that many people went to view this film to see the acting of Hilary Swank as a 32 year old boxer. A lot of you would have gone because you were die hard Eastwood fans. I went because I wanted to hear the voice of Morgan Freeman. His voice as Red hypnotized and captivated me many years ago in Shawshank Redemption. It did not fail to do so again. I can’t count the number of times when I am feeling down and out with no end in sight, I hear Red saying in my head, “I hope I can make it across the border... I hope to see my friend and shake his hand... I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams... I hope...”

The Gmail incident

I was meant to pick up my friends, la padrona del sole and the evil cousins, from their university on Friday evening. So I sent an email to her Gmail account asking her when they want to be picked up.

Gmail decided that she was a lady looking for some hank panky and embedded the following sponsored links in the email...

Sponsored Links:
Big Single Ladies PhotosFor BBW's seeking relationships
Browse Profiles & Photos.
Join Freebbwdatefinder.com
Lonely ladiesFind women.
View pictures for free. affiliate.www.Find-Women.com
LadiesLadies for sale. aff Check out the deals now!www.eBay.com

Evil naughty Gmail...

Say NO to Unicum

That was the sign off message on the email from Aditman on his last email. If you are wondering what Unicum is…it is the most foul smelling and evil tasting liqueur ever brewed on Earth.

The first time I had it was this past Thanksgiving. After a night of drinking out with Zen, Aditman, the Salamander and la padrona del sole, my inebriated state prompted me to down three shots of it with the Salamander who promptly passed out. I was then about to proceed to have an unprecedented fourth shot when the bottle was packed away by Zen and it was suggested that I hit the sack. The taste lingered even the next morning. Only after swallowing some mouthwash (YES, I downed some Listerene) did the foul odor and taste go away.

But then Mohanlal enjoys it. He claims Gulgulu Thithaka Arishtam (an ayurvedic medicine) tastes even worse than Unicum. At least the arishtam cures fistula. I don’t think Unicum has any such properties. Like Zen said, it is the sperm of the devil and Mohanlal is really the anti-Christ.

Sonia Gandhi - the new "mother"?

Its late in the day I know, but it pisses me off. Its when I read people still talking about Sonia Gandhi's "selfless" act of giving up the Prime Ministership! To my mind its simple - she chickened out (kudos to her though for positioning the truth so well). Selflessness all balls. Reminds me of the shit I heard right through early years in school, from hindi classes to moral science and civics : "the mother is the most selfless individual". The rationale / meaning of the statement defeated me then and still does.

The magic that was Azhar

Chennai,
Jan 4th 1997

It was another warm lazy day in Chennai and I was contemplating if I should go and attend classes at the esteemed center of learning called Crescent Engineering College. Seeing that a dosage of boredom would do me good after the past few days of fun and frolic, I decided to go.

As I was sitting in the hall wearing my shoes and hurriedly drinking my cup of tea, reflex action cause me to turn on the television. I was greeted with the sight of Mohammed Azharuddin and Sachin Tendulkar walking into bat. India was touring South Africa and the second test was in progress. We were getting our asses kicked in royal style. They had piled up a huge first inning total and our inning was tottering with no hope in sight. Azhar had retired hurt the previous day after being hit by a nasty bouncer. The papers were awash with stories on how poor Azhar was against the short ball peppered with some nasty comments by the South Africans. So I was curious to see how he would fare today. I decided to watch a couple of overs and then leave. As I watched him take guard the UNIX acronym WTF popped into my head. I noticed that he had changed his side-on stance to almost a chest-on one.
And then the carnage started. What followed was (in my opinion) one of the most violent counter attacks ever witnessed in Test history. It was as if Azhar had plunked an India tri-color in the face of the South African attack and said:

Out of doubt, out of dark to the day's rising
I came singing in the sun, sword unsheathing.
To hope's end I rode and to heart's breaking:
Now for wrath, now for ruin and a red nightfall!

Azhar and Tendulkar tore into attack. They scored over 200 runs in just 40 overs. No bowler was spared. Lance Klusener must be still having nightmares about the beating he took from the two batsmen. I could see that there was a half smile on his face and it looked like his gleaming eyes were saying, “Let them come, there are still two Indian batsmen here who will drink your blood”. But like all good things this partnership too came to an end. No bowler could have could have gotten his wicket that day…he was run out. It does not matter to me that India lost that test. I had seen Azhar and SRT show those men of will, what will really was…
And I never ended up going to college that morning.

But he is also the same man who went from being a magician to a sorcerer in a matter of days when the betting scandal erupted. Why did he do it? Was it just the money, did his wife make him do it or was he innocent? Only God and Azhar know. All I know is that one of the brightest stars of Indian cricket passed into shadow and this poem says it all…

Where now the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing?
Where is the helm and the hauberk, and the bright hair flowing?
Where is the hand on the harpstring, and the red fire glowing?
Where is the spring and the harvest and the tall corn growing?
They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow;
The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow.
Who shall gather the smoke of the dead wood burning,
Or behold the flowing years from the Sea returning?

Disclaimer: Both the poems are from JRR Tolkien's Lord of the Rings.

on ethan hawke and lost masculinity..

I watched 'before sunset' too. And I suppose it had the same sort of effect on me. But just in a less poetic way. It made me wonder about ex-girlfriends, and what they mean.. and as Celine said 'each person I loved left me with something, and perhaps a part of me will always love them'. (or words to that effect).. which seems to be a bit of a theme in my life recently. Doing the relationship dance with women when we both know nothing more can come of it.

There is a romantic intensity in the absence of time. I figured that a long time ago, and Mr Linklater figured out a much better way to express it than the above sentence.

But what I'm wondering now is this.. do I function best only in the twilight zone of the 'near relationship'? With ex-girlfriends from the past with whom I spent long perfect evenings.. of the sort that rarely happened in the last year we actually did go out. With attractive women I meet at parties and airports when we're both leaving the country. And people from the past who finally admit to wanting something between us only when its not really feasible..

Which brings me to the next, almost contradictory point.. Why complain about it? I have a dry spell, and then meet interesting women. In and of itself, that should be brilliant. Even my best friend says to me "fuck off and dont expect any sympathy from me". So whats the problem?

The problem is this maladaptive, healthy, wholesome, new-age male bollocks that I can only refer to as the 'post-coital emotional outburst'.. ie I meet someone, we both know it cant go anywhere serious, we enjoy it for what it is, I wake up the next morning and think "hmm... I dont know.. maybe we could make something of it", and spent the next few weeks in a vaguely depressed state of something resembling loss. That sucks. I'm supposed to be the emotionally distant male- incapable of knowing what I feel if it hit me over the head with a spanner. How then did I get transformed from being your average slacking, unemotional guy, to your average slacking guy with frequent PCEO's?

Most of the women I know are actually far more controlled about their emotional states than drivel like cosmo would have the rest of the world believe. And a lot of the guys I know actually suffer the PCEO too. And for all that crap about wanting "a nice guy, who's in touch with his emotions and all that", its the charm of the emotionally distant bastard version of the bloke that many women find strangely attractive. Hell, I've been transformed into an object of lust when I've acted like a bastard.

The moral of the story- the status quo- emotionally distant guys and women who actually like these guys but think otherwise following a short burst of cosmo reading works a lot better than two confused people suffering PCEOs! Go figure.

[Editor's note: the article lost any thread of continuity a long time ago. But seeing how he is a boy of little brain and only about three people read this anyway, we'll just let it slide.]

Celine...

i loved her before sunrise
i loved her before sunset
and then i let her go
so she could love someone else...

Large Corporations: Bad. But what are we going to do about them?

I just got back from seeing The Corporation. It’s a documentary that looks at the birth and growth of the corporation and its effect on society and the environment. Have to say that it is one of the best documentaries that I have ever seen and a very scary one at that. Couple of the scenes were very disturbing. Especially the one where a commodities trader said that the first thing that came to his mind on seeing the two towers fall was that the price of gold was going to go up….”Every devastation leads to profit”. Also the fact that Corporations were allowed to be viewed as a legal person came about due to the amendment in the constitution to help black slaves was mind boggling.

The movie got me thinking again about if big corporations are really bad, what can we do to fight them? Should I be even working for one? Many people say that we should start supporting the small corporations out there. But I am not sure that is the right solution. Take Microsoft for example. When they first started as a small company doing contract work for IBM, they poked them in the eye by getting IBM to license their OS rather than selling it to them. I am sure everybody was cheering little Microsoft on as they beat out Big Blue. And look what at Microsoft has become! In recent years there has been a swell of goodwill towards Linux. RedHat is one of the major Linux distributions out there and was once the apple in the eyes of Microsoft haters. Today they are slowly becoming the “Microsoft” in the Linux community.

The other thing is that if you are going to support anyone, it means that you are going to help them to grow. If they grow, there is a good chance that they will become another big bad corporate monster. Or are we going to tell them we will support you only if there is a cap to your growth. That means that you are stifling potential and giving incentive to people to not do their best.

Is there any solution to keeping big companies in check? In some scenarios like operating systems the removal of a monopoly will solve the problem. The companies will keep each other in line. But in others this will not be enough. I don't think that there is an all encompassing solution to this but the bottom line is that I don’t want corporations out there making decisions on what my life and environment should look like.

As I work for a big corporation I felt that it was imperative to ask myself the question because in many situations asking the question is more important than the answer itself.